I suggested to this person that he speak to his manager. Trouble was, his manager was one of the bullies. We talked through the options he had available to him, and he decided that he needed to speak up. But as we expected, that's when things really began to get out of hand.

When he sat down with his manager to discuss how he was feeling, he was met with a swift, arrogant reply, dismissing the worker.

"That's your opinion. I'm not a bully, and neither is the other person. Stop trying to make this about everyone else. You just don't like being told what to do, that's the issue. You get defensive any time someone tries to speak to you. You need to toughen up and start listening to me, because I'm the manager."

I nearly fell off my chair when I heard this was the manager's response. What a disgraceful comment.

When he went into further detail of the incident that sparked this conversation, the manager was dismissive once more.

“That's not what happened, and I have three witnesses that will back me up too."

How convenient.

Isn't it interesting how the aggressor always has their defences and arguments ready to go, almost in anticipation of someone finally speaking up?

When I heard this was the manager's response, I was alarmed. There'll always be an element of ‘he-said, she-said’ in conflict situations; that’s just the reality of dealing with people. But how can two versions of the very same event be so vastly disproportionate? The perceptions of the events weren't just on different pages, they weren't even in the same book.

In my experiences, when a person is particularly defensive and sure of themselves in a situation like that, there's generally something to hide.

There was an excuse at every turn, almost as if the manager had been preparing herself for some backlash. She contradicted herself on a number of occasions, and even implied that they would have to cease employment with this person "if he kept causing problems."

The worker spoke to me after his conversation, and questioned whether he had done the right thing by raising the issues. He was now scared for his job.

But I reminded him, this is what manipulators do. Unfair dismissal and adverse action aside, this is what bullies do. They make you feel like you're in the wrong, and they make you feel like you're at fault. They’ll go on the attack, and suddenly you'll feel like you're to blame for their behaviour. They’ll make you feel like the perpetrator.

But remember, the bullies and the manipulators are the ones at fault, not you.

If you're the leader, you work for your staff. It's your responsibility to cultivate an environment that enables success in each of your employees. You are required to provide a safe work-place for your staff, and it's your job to develop them to the best of your ability. You're supposed to bring out the best in people, not destroy their confidence. You're their protector, and if you're acting as anything less than that, then you're not a leader.

Without your employees, your business or team will go absolutely nowhere. Your success is literally in their hands. And guess what - your own boss is judging you, based on how well you're able to engage with your people and drive results.

To all leaders across the globe, I implore you to drop your egos. Stop trying to throw your weight around, and please practice humility instead. Stop being dismissive of your staff when they need you, and start thinking about how your actions affect others. Serve your people by becoming selfless and putting their needs ahead of your own. This is what leaders do, and it will see your people deliver far better results.

You owe it to your people. As a manager, co-worker, and just as a human being, you have a responsibility to look out for those in your care.

To any employers reading this who like to assert their 'authority,' be aware that you're likely not perceived as a strong leader. You know who you are. In fact, people will probably look at you as a very weak one. There's no place for this type of behaviour in our world.

Instead, lead with humility, authenticity and vulnerability. This is what real leaders do, and you'll be making a positive difference to people's lives instead of destroying them.

I'm rooting for you.  Let's all continue to be better together.

Your friend,

Adrian